S-C-R-E-W-E-D

That’s how you spell it. That’s what I am.

Apparently I am a horrible adder or looker or something. I counted wrong. I don’t have enough hours for work. I am 12 1/2 days short.

What does that mean? I’d have to work EVERY DAY in June and THEN I’d have to find a year-round school who would give me 4 more days out of 8 days left in June. BECAUSE the 600 hours? They have to be done by June 30th. Yea. SUCKS!

So, what does this mean? It means that I’m insurance less starting January 1st. If my dad’s right and his insurance covers me until the end of the year. If he’s wrong and it only covers me until I turn 25? Then I’m done on September 30th and I’ll be medicine less until July 1st 2010. NINE months without insurance. Basic things I can go to CSUN for, you know – basic illness. But if I break a bone or am in a car accident? I’m D-O-N-E for.

So fucking stressed.

And?

I still have to tell my mom.

AHHH!

What’s In It

The purchase of my new bed took away a lot of floor space in my room. I’m fine with this. It means, though, that I can’t let what is left of the ground be cluttered or messy. Just one or two things on the ground means that I’m stepping or tripping all the time.

Today I cleaned. Well, picked up after myself. Things haven’t had time to get “dirty” yet. I also changed my sheets to the set I bought at JC Penney for cheap. Unfortunately I’m having the same problem with this one that I did with the one that came with the set. The top sheet is too small. My mattress is really tall and the sheets don’t make it to both sides so I can tuck them underneath. Maybe this is normal, but I like to be able to tuck my sheets in so that the bed doesn’t get unmade as easily. From now on out I’ll have to find top sheets in Queen size, which means I cannot buy “sets” but just the top sheet, which is hard.

I got a call to work tomorrow. Unfortunately I sort of got two. Yesterday I got a call from one teacher asking me to work the entire week, but I was already scheduled to work W-F, so I told her I was available M-T. She wanted someone for the entire week, and so she would call me (or that’s how I figured/understood it to bed) if she needed me for those two days. Yea. Today I get a call from another teacher, a class I prefer to be in, and she asks me to work tomorrow. I say yes! I hadn’t heard from Teacher A again, so I figured she wasn’t going to use me. Teacher B had another person who was going to sub for her (which pisses me off, because I thought TB liked me, so why wouldn’t she call me first? Whatever.) but that person had to cancel for whatever reason. This makes it difficult because the sub already had a job number, in order for me to get paid I need a job number. So the teacher needs to cancel the previous job (or the sub needs to cancel it) and then call me in so that they will give me a job number. Well, the system that LAUSD uses? LAME. It’s either not cancelling the job or just not letting her put me in, because she can’t get it to accept my employee number. She called and let me know of the trouble. I figure this isn’t a problem, one way or another I’ll get paid. She’ll call the SAA tomorrow morning and see if she can figure it out, etc. It’s fine with me. I get home and my phone rings. It’s LAUSD sub finder, so I figure – cool, she made it work. Except it’s not for her job, but for TA. Umm. Huh? You didn’t call me and let me know that you were gonna use me or not.

So, I declined the job with “prefer other job”. We’ll see. I’ll be screwed if I don’t end up getting paid/or work. But, I’ll get up and show up tomorrow morning and I’m sure they’ll work it out somehow.

I haven’t calculated how many hours I’ve worked – to ensure I get the 600, because I figure that I already did. It’s best that I do check, double check to make absolutely sure.

Off to do that I go.

Farrah.

The show was before my time, but my parents and siblings watched it in Argentina, one of the few good shows they had.

I just finished watching the documentary/self-movie that she made about her fight against the cancer that invaded her body. It was beautifully done and I think is really a gift for anyone fighting any type of cancer. Her strength is so obvious and her charisma shines. Even if, in the end, all the treatements only extended her life and didn’t save it, she lived through it all.

She asks very poignant questions at the end, and they are ones that really should be answered by our health system in the US.

I hope she is pain free, and goes peacefully.

Memories

None to report tonight, but they have been circling in my mind lately. Some recent, random ones. Others older and inspired by pictures. Now it’s finding the time to do it all. To write it down.

Nikki is spending the night with me tonight. Makes it hard.

But, either way, I’m really tired today.

Random post. More like a reminder.

Need to get to sleep soon.

Long Day

The day was really long. I jumped from one class to another until 1:10pm. Then it was just 2 classes until the end of the day. They completed the Matrix today and so I covered the classes while the teachers signed up. Only one major issue, but what can she do? Be happy she has a job – unlike the 6 who don’t have jobs in the Fall.

My calves are sore, although not too badly. But I feel it. Mom mentioned walking to the bank… tomorrow. Enough. I’m also just generally tired. Luckily it was a cool morning, because if I had to do all that running around in 100*, I would have been done for.

It was an interesting day, though. It was cool to see where the teachers will be in the fall. In the meantime I need to print out some new cards (well, meantime meaning this summer). Make sure I’m still on the preferred sub list next school year and that I get plenty of calls. I’m sure I will. Not all of those 6 teachers are going to go into subbing, and some of them might not want to sub at Limerick, they might prefer elsewhere. We shall see.

I got another day to work, on Wednesday. Yay me! Which is also cool because the library is putting out books they are getting rid of – so I’ll be there to pick through them and get some for myself.

For now that shall be it!

Communicate, Men Don’t

I haven’t found a single guy who has been a good communicator. BUT I guess, that goes for the majority of men anyone meets. Men just don’t communicate.

Which I’ll have to learn to live with. But it’s hard. I live worried about what they’re thinking, wanting, etc. Then I begin to doubt things, because if we’re not communicating, then what’s the point? Right?

Then I go back to the former – men do not communicate. So… then, why stop one dating streak to jump to another because of lack of communication, if it’s going to be the same story all over again.

An endless cycle that leaves me alone, worried, and lonely. It’s something I have to deal with, accustom myself to, and then just be.

Do men communicate more when the relationship has been established and as it goes along? Or is communication most open at the beginning of a relationship. Things that I should know, but is there really an answer? I’m not so sure.

We shall see.

Okay… I guess.

My appointment went well. My blood pressure continues to be high, over /90 today. High. My doctor thinks it might be my BC, because it can cause BP to go up. So I’m switching from Levore (which I take for 3 months before I get a .) back to Yasmin (which gives me one every month). Hopefully this will make a difference, if not I might have to go off BC. I’m going back in 2 months to see.

I also had her order blood work to see about my cholesterol because in the past it had been “high”, although she tells me that although the computer marked it as “high” it wasn’t, really. No need to worry about that at this point.

She switched me back to Prozac as well and took all the other medications off my record, which, THANK GOD! I am continuing to LOVE this doctor and I am totally recommending her to the teacher’s at work that need a new Doc.

Work tomorrow should be fun/interesting. They are deciding what grades the teachers will teach next year, so it will be a busy day – swinging from classroom to classroom, but it will be cool to know where everyone is going to end up in the Fall.

Alright, I believe that is all for tonight.

Confusion

Last Wednesday I had a doctors appointment. I thought it was with my doctor, but it was with pain management. I actually went and waited and was told, no, your appointment is next week. CRAP. I waited around to get some prescriptions filled anyway. For some reason I thought the appointment was THIS Wednesday, as in today. As I leave campus I call my mom to tell her something, and I start thinking “Today is the 27th. I think my appointment is the 28th. My mom tries to find the appointment card but can’t. I finally find a phone number to call and figure out when my appointment actually is.

Yea. It’s tomorrow. Thankfully I had pulled over and stopped instead of driving further towards the hospital and away from home.

I have several questions for my doctor. Well, not all that many, but some. Especially about prescriptions.

While at work today I got an extra day of work tomorrow. 5th grade, which should be simple since they are 3 weeks away from graduation. Plus, I have the ability to put forward the threat of sending them to the principal and having them NOT participate in events for their culmination. HA! This class should be fine, I’ve been in it before, BUT there is ONE student who is a big time trouble maker. Who knows, he might not be graduating and my threats will be useless.

Oh! So today? I work one of my new shirts from Kohl’s. Super nice gray with a strap on the back to show a little bit of the top of the back. A 5th grade teachers thanks me for watching her class last Friday and goes “hey! we’re wearing the same shirt!”. You might say, GREAT, she has good taste, right?

Sure. Exept that she is SIX months pregnant! How depressing is that? She made sure to let me know that hers is a very LARGE shirt. I thought it was hilarious.

I didn’t take many pictures today, which makes me sad. I want to take pictures and more pictures. I just haven’t found anything interesting to take pictures of. At work I feel uncomfortable taking pictures of random things. Maybe tomorrow at Kaiser.

I was sort of upset that I work tomorrow, I was looking forward to the day off. BUT then I realized that after this week I am only scheduled for 4 days. So It’s important for me to work the days I can get, I can rest next week.

One of the questions I am asking my doctor is about my face. I haven’t exactly been “breaking out”, but I have red blotches, and enough issues that I’m starting to be self-conscious about it. I figure that I should just start wearing make up to cover it up, but before I go to that step (cause I do NOT wear make-up, ever) I should see if it’s something that a powerful cream can help clear up. If not, then I will have to figure out type of concealer or foundation or what I need to make my face look better.

One of the aide’s at Lim school is a teaser. One of those people whom you’re not sure if they are kidding around or if they really don’t like you and are laughing at you behind your back. Well, today she made a comment about Facebook so she could “harass” me there. I mean, she doesn’t harass me – either way I don’t care, but it might be nice to find her on there. Unfortunately I cannot remember her name for the life of me! Oh well. Tomorrow.

At work the library is getting rid a bunch of old books/books they don’t need/want. She should be putting them out next week – I’m hoping it will be Thursday when I am there. I want to take books! Woo! I love books! I figure I can. We’ll see if anyone stops me.

I was able to put the filing thing where I want it. I cleaned up a few last things in my room. I need to put up two “curtains” on my bookcase.

Okay. Have I blabbed enough for the night? I think so.

If I don’t

If I don’t have to get up until 6am, why did I get up at 5:25? I don’t know. But I did. I’m tired.

I’m still in love with my camera.

I was supposed to go out tonight (overnight) and go miniature golfing or whatnot – BUT I forgot the Lakers are playing tonight and I must watch because I know they will win tonight. They will also win Game 7. Game 6? Not so sure, but if it goes to Game 7, they will win it. So, of course,  I must watch!

I’m laying in bed, hungry. Being the spoiled poor girl that I am, I’m waiting for my mom to wake up to make me my hot chocolate. Yes. I know. Totally contradicting myself in this post and the last. Whatever.

My sister left for Spain this morning. She’s going to a Human Rights conference. She’ll be there for a week. My BIL must take care of the girls on his own and work – which if they were both, say, in school full time would be fine – but while Mika is, Camila is still only half-day in pre-school. But I think they work something out with her day-care provider (day-care, pre-school – in her situation, same thing, maybe more of the former).

Did I mention I’m hungry? I had half of a personal pizza for dinner last night and then a Yoplait Light Yogurt. Guess it wasn’t enough. My stomach is growling consistantly and loudly.

I did all that previous typing while laying in bed and my laptop on the nightstand. That’s because it’s awesome for being the height of my very tall bed. The only issue with the bed right now, which can be fixed easily I hope, is that it rolls. In the middle of the night last night I find myself with a space about 1 foot wide between the top of my bed and the wall. Not fun. I used the window to pull myself and the bed against the wall again, but this needs to stop. I locked the too wheels on the other end of the bed, but need ot lock the other two, I guess, for it to stop rolling. Or maybe lock them more tightly? Those things are hard and small and metal.

Mom is awake, so I shall leave this rambling post, which sometimes are my favorite.

Betterment

So the back pain has decreased with the purchase of my new mattress. However, it does get bad in the evenings. Today I was good until about 7:30pm. THEN all hell broke loose back there and I’m un-com-for-ta-ble.

We went to Target and I bought two things. Only TWO. One is a filling thing. The nightstand I got has a bottom drawer that can be a storage drawer or a filing cabinet. I intended it to be a filing cabinet but when I was building it I was so tired, sick, and out of it that I ended up making it into  a drawer instead. I would like to take a moment here to say that this piece of furniture smells like IKEA and I love it. For now.

Walking through Target (the store you can’t go in and out without buying something) I literally ran into a little filing unit. It was $10, not bad.

I also got a little space keeper thingie to put in my new drawers so my things won’t slide all over the place as they do now. If it works properly I’ll get another one for the other drawer.

All these purchases have made me feel more “adult” if that is a feeling. I might live at home, I might be constricted to my hours out and whatnot. But at least something is the way I want it to be, at last.

Tomorrow I will continue my “adultness” and actually set up the new filing cabinet somewhere. I need to clean out the things that were inside my drawers of my desk (which now belongs to Nikki). I don’t know where I’m going to put these things. Storage somehow. Clean out the majority of things I don’t use. Something. I still have a sort-of empty drawer in my dresser I could use to store office supplies.

Right now I’m only scheduled to work 6 more days through the end of the year. I got an extra call today so I’m hoping that as the days go I’ll get more calls. I’m not worried about my 600 hours (I’m pretty sure I have them at this point) but I need the $$.

I did learn, though, that I might be eligible for unemployment at this point. As long as I’m looking for a job (which, I am, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to prove it to the agency) I can be on it – even if I’m employed. I have to be working less than full time – which I am. I’ll look into this weekend.

Over at Diary of a Modern Matriarch the Matriarch herself posted a video of her adorable son, Sawyer, trying to take over the world. It’s a HILARIOUS video, especially with the captions she added. Today I remembered to show it to my family, including Jonathan. Sawyer is about a month younger than Jonathan. The first time he saw it he thought it hilarious. By the time I actually got the camera out to record him he wasn’t all that into it. Jonathan isn’t a very talkative or laughing baby, although mostly always happy. I’ll try to get him when he’s cracking up and laughing at some point. Anyway, this is Jonathan watching Sawyer on the computer screen.