Tired.

I’m just tired.

Tired and confused and emotionally drained.

Work is okay but I’m a bit overwhelmed or maybe I’m just underwhelmed. I don’t know which. But I’m tired of being a teacher in someone else’s class. I’m ready to be in my own. I want to have my own rules, my own students from Day One. I’m READY for it. Nervous for it, but ready.

OH! I need to do the CPR class. I’m going to Call Lindsey and then if she doesn’t answer just do the class on my own, I’m tired of waiting.

Hmm what else?

Our plants that were planted on Friday in the Terrariums have already started to sprout. I can’t believe it. Still not sure which piece is which… and this week sucks in that the days are shorter because of paret conferences. Tomorrow is even shorter.

At least that means it’ll go by quickly.

OH! I need to e-mail Natalie. Okay, sent her the block plan – we’ll see how much she criticises it (or however that word is spelled).

I’m gettng a subscription to a teaching magazine to fullfill my TPE 13. Woohoo for that. It was cheap.

This process is just too long. At this point I’m just over the portfolio and the teaching – even though I haven’t done anything yet.

I need to start working on the artifacts some more. I need to print the ones I have and get it together. That’ll be job for next weekend… we’ll see how Friday night goes as well. I want to get it done. I don’t seem to have time to do anything during work hours and when I get home I don’t want to do anything but lay down and relax. Today was a problem because it’s my mom’s bday. Tomorrow is my sister’s birthday – but maybe it’ll be okay tomorrow.

Okay… I think for today that is it.

Drama

So Friends. That’s the final outcome.

We’ll see.

I was feeling quite sorry for myself last night. And, really, I was right. I have a lack of friends. My life revolves around family. That’s it. It’s sad, but what can I do? I don’t know. We’ll see.

so yea, drama galore for me.

I hope something changes soon.

Hmph.

So I don’t know what’s going on.

Last night I had a long weird conversation with Robert and didn’t end particularly well. Not in a fight or argument really, but just cracky.

Whatever.

I just made an apple pie – it’s in the oven. Smells good.

I should do more for work next week. But I’m not going to.

Now… I’m going to take books downstairs and see which should go in a new bookcase I built for my mom.

Frustration

I went to Lowe’s with my sibs today and it was really frustrating to be there. I don’t know if it was because I was disappointed that Michael wasn’t working or because I’m lonely… or because he is (besides Robert) the break-up affected me very much. I’m not over it maybe. It left me tangled up? I don’t know.

Nikki is bugging me. I have to put the computer down.

Science

I did my science. I did the block plan.

My lesson was fine yesterday but I was annoyed by the supervisor… It annoyed me to the last nerve.

I need to look at the next lesson plan, but that’s not great because… well, we don’t have the isopods or beetles. It sucks. Oh well. I’ll survive.

I have to look at the LA stuff. But I’ll be fine with that.

BLAH!

Frustration

I hate love. I hate not having it, I hate everything about it right now.

Hell’s Kitchen is back! Yay!!

Men are so troublesome… and they say women can’t make up their minds!

FUCK!

Woo!

Okay, I’m looking at all the stuff for my science lesson tomorrow and it’s going well! I think it will be good! I got the books, I found another one here… and yea, it just looks like things are going well. That will be great. I hope it goes smoothly. I invited the principal but she was unable to make it.

Tomorrow I’m going to stop at Payless after work to buy some sneakers so that I can go for walks without hurting my feets in flip flops. I can’t wait to go on hikes again.

As far as Robert goes… oh, I don’t know. He just IMed me… but I don’t think he’s as interested in pursuing as I am – or at least he doesn’t know whether he is or not. I don’t know anything anymore.

But right now I feel really accomplished with the science and I haven’t done it yet.

Walk!

I just walked 2 1/2 miles with my mom. We went to the library because I needed books for work… I didn’t get as many as I wanted, but we’ll see how it goes. I didn’t want to print black and white pictures – but I have stuff. I think we’ll be alright.

I’m TIRED now.

Dinner time. Pasta with vegetables.

I need to think…. I don’t remember what I have to think.

Oh well.

Sleep

So sleepy. I want sleep. But I can’t get it. I have to get ready for work.

Big day today. Well, sort of. I’m taking over the LA sections. Which is fine, but I miss my downtime. Yesterday I felt unprepared and it showed, I think. The kids were pretty good, however. BUT by the after lunch time I was feeling quite annoyed at them and did a bit of scolding that probably didn’t need to be done. Hopefully today I’ll do better. I am more prepared for today. I went over it, thought about it, etc.

Still… I’m getting nervous. Tomorrow even moreso. I don’t know how prepared I am for tomorrow.

i’m feeling let down. By who? I don’t know. Or is it by whom? I don’t know.

I think it’s the pressure of not knowing what’s going to happen in the fall. The lack of certainty of when my life is going to “start”.

Okay… I’m going to get dressed.

Re-Post

So I talked to Chris yesterday. He sent me an e-mail and I e-mailed him back and told me he still owed me a phone call. I had to leave right after that and I got a phone call from the 805 so I answered with just an inkling that it might be him, and it was. I was surprised. A bit. We talked for a while before he had to take another call for work.

My post last night about this was much more exciting but since LJ ate it this is all you get.

Today was hard to get up. Very tired and very sleepy.

Parents are generally idiots. The ones I’ve dealt with. Idiots meaning they don’t care about their kids education.

Okay – I’m going to go. I’m still pissed at LJ!

*shakes fist at LJ*